I love doing events. The best part is seeing everything come together and watching the guests’ reactions as they arrive. But there is a part I don’t love: the lack of responses from invited guests on whether or not they plan to attend.
“Répondez s’il vous plaît.” From the French, it means, “please respond.” You see it at the bottom of an invitation — RSVP. These days, it’s the red-headed stepchild on that invite.
Judith Martin, also known as Miss Manners, is quite direct in her response to those who don’t take the time to give the host or hostess the courtesy of a reply — don’t invite them to your next event. That seems a bit harsh to me, but if you know someone is a chronic non-responder, it may save you some time.
I find that most people think that they only need to respond to an invitation if they are going to attend the function. When you see RSVP, it actually means that you are to respond regardless of your intentions of attending the occasion.
So why don’t more people make it a habit to reply? Good question. The first thing to examine is your own habit of giving a reply to RSVPs. If you host events and wonder why invitees don’t respond, take a look at how well you respond to their invitations.
Maybe you are spot-on and always let the host know your plans. Your invited guests must not have your same level of etiquette superiority and could use some schooling.
If your record is a little (or a lot) shaky and needs some improving, never fear! Now is a great time to start a new habit. You may be getting several invites to various holiday festivities. The next time you get an invitation, be sure to respond. Your host may not thank you, but they won’t off you from the invite list, either.
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