You’ve seen them: the sweaty employee standing on the roadside with a bright orange sign waving you to pull in for a $5 Hot-N-Ready pizza.

I’ll be honest, more times than not, I find myself wanting to speed away – not pull in for a pie. And don’t even get me started on the deterioration of the brand they’re “promoting.”

So, I sat down (okay, I was already sitting … I was in the car) and got to thinking – how many people really slam on the breaks and pull in for dinner because that sad, sad worker is telling them to? Not many, (I would hope). Furthermore, if everything we’re taught in l’école d’advertisement is true, this type of promotion shouldn’t even work, and here’s why:

Five reasons why employee-roadside advertising ruins my appetite

1. There’s no relationship – advertising and branding is built on the belief that consumers buy based on relationships. When you stand on the corner of Rush Hour Blvd. and Everyone and Their Brother St. it’s mass marketing; for small businesses (or privately owned chains) that’s typically a no-no.
2. Desperation is a turn-off – roadside advertising is perceived as a last-ditch attempt to gain business or boost sales for today – there’s no longevity; it exudes a sense chaos and desperation – not hot or ready.
3. It’s probably not that good – Quality products and services speak for themselves; sales increase when you supplement with cohesive, strategic marketing tactics. If you have to go to the corner and turn tricks to sell a pizza, it’s probably worth passing up.
4. Oh my gosh, that poor soul – No one should have to do this job in the first place; times are tough, but are they really that tough?
5. Here today, gone tomorrow – Consumers are less likely to support businesses with the impression they’re going under. Have you seen those same sad workers holding “going out of business” signs? Yeah, the “deal” signs are just a prequel.

When it gets right down to it, if I’m hungry, I know where I’m heading to find food. If we all drove around looking for someone to flag us down for a $5 deal, that hot and ready vendor would see a lot more traffic, and so would local gyms.

1. The client is always right
2. Sometimes the client is wrong, but you can’t say anything
3. Proof paper does not yield a completely accurate example of what a printed piece will look like
4. When you’re 23, people often feel obligated to buy your meal at business lunches — bless them
5. The hardest client you’ll ever have is the company you work for
6. The most rewarding client you’ll ever have is the company you work for
7. A positive attitude goes a long way
8. Choose your battles carefully, it’s not always worth it
9. It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission
10. When you’re wrong, it feels good to admit it
11. Two heads are better than one, and 10 heads are better than two
12. iPod ear buds don’t block out sound, unless the volume is up all the way
13. You can jam a lot of things on a memo board before it falls off the wall. A lot.
14. Desk tchotchkes have the ability to multiply overnight, like rabbits
15. Full time work is not the same as full time school
16. I’m sure a majority of M3 staff would have never noticed if I missed a day of work when I was an intern — intern schedules are impossible to memorize
17. Living next door to where you work isn’t as bad as it sounds
18. Health care makes a big difference
19. I finally know what Loverboy was singing about when they sang “everybody’s working for the weekend”
20. When the boss ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy (lucky for us Tiffany is a pretty happy gal)
21. When you skip breakfast, it’s best to take a lunch at 11:30
22. It’s more depressing than it should be when Twitter is over capacity
23. There’s nothing a glass of wine after work can’t fix
24. Thanking those who support you is ultra important
25. The number of hours I can efficiently work is directly related to the number of hours of sleep I get each night (why do you think doctors recommend eight hours?)
26. I don’t really care if it’s going to be sunny unless it’s Saturday or Sunday
27. Homemade office treats should be talked about more — and by “talked about,” I mean brought in
28. One day, you’ll look back on the hardest project you had and realize it wasn’t so hard
29. Keeping meetings on track: not as easy as it looks
30. You may receive ridicule for your desktop backgrounds, but seeing that Christmas nutcracker during summer is worth it
31. You can’t do everything, but you can do anything
32. Keeping things organized on the server isn’t a suggestion, it’s a way of life
33. When sticky notes are scarce, guard your supply diligently
34. Ultra fine point Sharpies are coveted amongst designers, guard those with even greater diligence
35. Keeping your e-mail organized and inbox clean is the key to surviving the day
36. Waiting until Friday at 3:30 p.m. to input all of your time for the week = bad idea
37. Caffeine can be your friend when working 40-hour weeks
38. The notorious 2:30 p.m. server crash is no joke
39. When you’re passionate about something, it’s easy to take your work home every night
40. But everyone needs a break once in a while
41. Competition motivates me to the extreme
42. Taking a walk at lunch can do a lot of good
43. Eliminating words like “can’t” and “won’t” from one’s vocabulary opens up many doors
44. Missing classes at MSU is normal (right?)
45. I finally understand why my dad naps on the couch after work
46. Working from home is often times more work, but so productive
47. Teaching others a tip or trick to make their lives simpler is very rewarding
48. When you have an all-day meeting in a town two hours from your office, forgetting your smart phone is pretty much the worst thing imaginable
49. QD used to sell Big Dips for 73 cents on Wednesdays; our office enjoyed that promotion
50. Free McDonald’s Frappe coupons are worth every calorie
51. Having good plans for dinner helps make the day go faster
52. Signing off on final proofs for major projects will never stop being scary
53. Ghostwriting is one of the most important and unrewarding skills a PR professional can have
54. If the turnout for an event is poor, on the plus side, there’s copious amounts of refreshments for those who do attend
55. If you want to illegally park in M3’s parking lot overnight, it’s not wise to park in Tiffany’s spot — or anywhere near the building for that matter
56. The PC vs. Mac war will never end, though everyone knows the truth
57. A little music can help power through the last hour of any day
58. Water cooler chats happen everywhere, not just at water coolers
59. Windup toys aren’t for everyone
60. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, unless it’s in writing — then it’s just plagiarism
61. Decaf can lower your blood pressure, but you may fall asleep
62. You win some, you lose some, you blow some of ’em out of the water
63. Facebook is work
64. There’s nothing like a pat on the back to turn your day around
65. Coworkers can be like a second family, which is important when your real family is far away
66. There’s never going to be a good time to take a vacation
67. And no vacation goes unpunished
68. The creative community in Lansing is made up of some of the most wonderful people in our city
69. Co-authored blogs typically get a lot more traffic than blogs written by one person (the more authors, the better!)
70. Google analytics is equal parts addictive and fascinating
71. Even the best logophile can make a grammar mistake
72. A great administrator can make all the difference
73. “Legacy is greater than currency” — Gary Vaynerchuk
74. You can plan a golf outing if you’ve never golfed before
75. Just fake it ’til you make it
76. Asking for what you want/need is the best way to get it
77. Even if you’ve disarmed an alarm system for two years, you can blank on the code for absolutely no reason
78. Drawing is a lost art and a valuable talent
79. There’s always enough time
80. Leaving carbonated beverages in glass bottles in the company van during winter = disaster
81. Squirrels hang out in dumpsters and aren’t afraid to let you know it
82. Taxes are terribly unfair
83. Under promise and over deliver. No matter what.
84. You don’t know cacophony until you share an office with three women
85. It’s possible to paint your nails at your desk and have no one know (be discreet and use a fan)
86. Wearing glasses can make you seem more believable
87. There’s a whole world of color libraries I never knew existed
88. You will often have a bad hair day when you need to get your picture taken
89. When planning an event, it comforts me to know that time keeps ticking … it also frightens me
90. Spray adhesive is very unforgiving
91. Bureaucracies are alive and well
92. someecards.com is a great website to browse during mental breaks, (especially the “workplace” category)
93. Eating trends at the office are real
94. Working hard truly pays off
95. Putting a little money into your savings each month can add up quickly
96. Advertising isn’t as glamorous as everyone thinks, but it is a ton of fun
97. Don’t eat red onions at lunch
98. A messy desk give the illusion that you’re working hard
99. A team of eight full-time employees is capable of amazing feats
100. Coming up with a list of 100 things you learned in your first year of employment (that you can publish) is not as easy as it seems

Overcoming Roadblocks to Great Ideas

As the Ideation Specialist at M3, I am entitled to say that ideation can most certainly be taught. Sometimes, I like people to think it was a gift I was born with, but that’s simply not true. Everyone has the ability to train his or her mind to think creatively and imaginatively — I just had a little extra training.

Though I’m a firm believer that everyone holds a key to his or her own creative genius, there are days the ideas just. don’t. come. And the harder you try to think of a good idea, the worse they get.

So, to help a fellow ideator in need, I’ve put together a few classic personas to avoid when attempting to brainstorm your next big creative idea, and a list of fixes if one should reveal itself.

Whatever you do, don’t be a …

Stagnate Sally:

Sallys hold back; they are fearful of risks and, more importantly, fearful failure (gasp!).

Fix: Let go of the same ol’ same ol’, go against the grain and whatever you do, don’t be afraid to sound silly. Unthink what “creative” means and redefine it for yourself.

Serious Sam:

Sams are into serious, rational problem solving, they stay far inside the lines because that’s what’s “right.”

Fix: Get out some toys and play! Remember what it was like to be a kid and the freedom childhood imagination brought — go there, you’ll find the answer.

Blind Betty:

Bettys have trouble recognizing their own strengths and the creative resources around them.

Fix: Open your eyes to the resources around you that will showcase your creative abilities to the world. Find what you’re good at and let your mind drift … innovate!

Rigid Ralphy:

Ralphys are over-certain at times and stuck in their ways of thinking; they express persistent behavior and react on assumptions.

Fix: Create a list of all the ideas that come to your mind and write them down. Then, make yourself think of 20 more, 50 more, 100 more! No one likes a Rigid Ralphy.

Boring Betsy:

Betsys suppress their imaginations and lead impoverished fantasy lives; they overvalue the so-called “objectives.”

Fix: Allow yourself to pretend; start more sentences with “What if … ” and finish them with your wildest imaginings. The crazier the better. (Oh, and wear neon colored clothing — nothing boring about that!)

Reluctant Ryan:

Ryans try to solve problems too quickly, they are hesitant to let things incubate, simmer … soak.

Fix: Plant the start of an idea in your mind and then move on to other things. The best ideas always strike when you least expect it (lather, rise, repeat helps, too).

Numb Nelly:

Nellys suffer from sensory dullness (don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it sounds); they don’t explore their primary senses in ways that channel creativity.

Fix: Think beyond the surface; allow your body to take in the world around you for inspiration. (Or as a Traditional Tom might say, “stop to smell the flowers.” But really smell them.)

Coy Carl:

Carls are nervous about letting their ideas be heard; they don’t like to exert influence and they don’t like being the center of attention.

Fix: Forget about what other people might think if you come up with an idea. Remember: in the face of a good idea, politics do not matter.

Even if one of these personas should rear its ugly head, the most important thing to do is never give up on yourself or your ideas. Ideation is not easy, but it is necessary. At the root of everything in this world lies an idea; it’s the purest of all elements in innovation. So stay away from the Stagnant Sallys and Serious Sams and let your mind wander (and don’t forget to call your mother).